The other side of me

i was cleaning my closet yesterday..

suddenly, i found a piece of yellow paper inside my drawer.

a few sentences were written on it, and it read:

“naranasan mo na bang umasa sa wala?

yung tipong ginawa mo na lahat ng kaya mo tapos sa huli iiwan ka din pala..

oo, masakit. Sabi nga nila.. “Life’s like that”.. move on.

may kasabihan nga.. “If good things come to an end, better things comes the way.”

PERO PAANO NGA BA ANG MAG-MOVE ON?

————————————————————-

sa pagkakatanda ko, i wrote this 2 years ago..

that question was left unsaid ‘til i found that yellow pad.

natatawa ako habang binabasa ko ang nakaraan..

nakaraan, kung saan isinulat ko ito sa panahong sobrang broken hearted ako.

halos ayoko ng ipagpatuloy ang buhay.. lagi akong tulala, hindi nagsasalita,nagkukulong sa bahay, halos ayaw ng kumain, pinipigilang umiyak.. at dumating din ako sa point na naisipang kong magpakamatay.

i really wanted to hug my mom and cry on her shoulders.. pero i was afraid..

i’m afraid na magalit siya sakin dahil nagkakaganito ako because one man broke my heart into pieces. broke his promises on me.

until my mom cried in front of me.. she said. “tulungan mo ang sarili mo.. walang ibang makagagawa non kundi IKAW LANG.”

those words woke me up. nang marinig ko yun from my mother.. nagkaroon ako ng pag-asa.. pinilit ko kahit alam kong napakahirap para sakin..

nagtrabaho ako, just to forget. school at work lang ako noon.. pag uwi galing work pasok naman sa trabaho.. sobrang pagod ang naranasan ko noon samahan pa ng sama ng loob.

but my mom, played a big role in my life.. She’s the one who encourages me everyday. She gave me strength to go on..

ang hirap pala kapag pinipilit mong mag-move on, lalo mong hindi makakalimutan kung bibiglain mo nalang ang lahat at pipiliting basta nalang kalimutan ang mga nangyari.

i dont know kung kelan ako nagsimulang makapag move on..

pero tama nga ang sabi ng iba. “TIME IS A GREAT HEALER”

and “ACCEPTANCE” will help you moved on.

as years past by, natutunang ko din palang mag move-on which I thought dati na hindi ko kaya. Hinayaan ko lang ang panahon. I just go with the flow. Nag lakas loob akong magpatuloy at tanggapin ang lahat na hindi talaga kami para sa isa’t-isa. Nag look forward ako sa future.

Ngayon, tinatawanan ko nalang ang nakaraan, mga pinagdaanan kong masasakit. and I cherished those beautiful moments i had with him..

i also took those experiences as a lesson, and an inspiration to become a better person for the man whom I’ll spend my whole life with..

at ngayon, im ready to shine and fall inlove all over again. ;)

I know I have so many shortcomings

I am moody, low spirited and jealous

I don’t know why I can’t express myself

especially if I see you ignoring me

I easily felt down and low when others say ” I do not deserve you.”

Sometimes, I hate seeing you with others

I don’t know, maybe I’m just afraid to lose you

Though I know it is wrong, still I can’t help it.

I admit that I have so many imperfections..

but that’s the real me.

Despite of it, you take me just as I am

you accept all my worst attitude and loved me ever more

When I’m feeling down, you are the only one who’s lifting my spirit..

you complete me, you bring color to my life..

Thank you for showing me the meaning of true love..

thank you for making me see the essence and beauty of life.

I wish that you’ll stay this way forever..

‘cause the day that you loved me,

is the day that my dreams come true..

—-

Dear Julie Rose Gauran,

Nong first year tayo, noong una tayong magkasama sa klase ang sabi ko sa sarili ko na hindi ko makakasundo and babaeng ito. Kasi feeling ko maarte ka at mayabang pero ng makasama kita sa Kidney kalog ka rin pala at mabait.

Gysto ko lang sabihin sa iyo na sayang at ngayon lang kita nakilala ng lubusan. Although di naman talaga kilalang kilala pero nakilala ko na iyong JOLLY side mo. Always be happy and sexy.

From the bottom of my heart “Happy Birthday”. Tanda mo na teh! hehe Goodluck sa iyo. Alam malayo ang mararating mo hanngang Mindanao and who knows baka hanggang United States.

Fight and Go! kahit hindi ako nakapunta sa Birthday mo, I wish you a happy and joyful days na I’m sure eh talagang maeenjoy mo..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

P.S : Thank you for being my friend!

this is for the guy whom I met this last semester of the school year..

nakilala ko siya sa facebook..

his sweet.. and I think his handsome inside and out.

I never thought I would fall in love with this guy.

Sabi ko.. katulad din yan ng iba.

but when I had the chance to be with him.. kahit sandali lang..

narealize ko… gusto ko siya.

I think he knows I admire him..

sabi nga niya “lilipas din yan!’

yun din ang akala ko..

sinubukan kong umiwas.. pero hindi ko din nagawa..

Everytime I look at him, pakiramdam ko, he becomes more handsome everyday..

natanong ko tuloy bigla… “inlove ba ako sa kanya?”

hindi ko din maintindihan.. pero siguro oo..

From the very beginning, I know he loves someone else..

His bestfriend.. alam ko yun..

kaya tinanggap ko na din.. ;) 

i never expect anything in return.. because i don’t want to be hurt.

 i’ll just be happy for whatever makes him happy..

i wish him the best of luck, and

i hope he’ll never forget me..

I THANK HIM FOR BEING THE REASON BEHIND MY SMILES.. :)

-with so much gratitude..

———————

You gave me a reason for my being
And I love what I’m feeling
You gave new meaning to my life
Yes, I’ve gone beyond existing
And it all began
When I met you… ^.^

Mas gusto ng babae ang lalaking may SENSE OF HUMOR. Yung pagiging GWAPO? Bonus na lang yun. Gusto kasi namin yung masaya kasama, kaya kaming patawanin kahit sa mga simpleng banat at jokes lang. Mababaw lang naman kasi ang kaligayahan at kiliti ng mga girls. Aanhin naman namin ang lalaking may itsura kung saksakan naman ng hambog, boring kasama at pagka-chickboy.

(Source: icantspellyou)

thank you for making my day wonderful..

for making me smile everytime i see you..

how i wish that someday..

i’ll have the courage to say how much you mean to me..

and i hope that you’ll not take me for granted.

-‘till we see again.